Sunday, September 2, 2018.
Hello!
This is perhaps the first post on my blog. I am quite excited to see where things go from here. Anyway, I was going to tell you about my day. To be honest, it was a horrible day. Let me start from the beginning.
6 days ago was my birthday. As I expected, everybody had forgotten about it except a few people who remembered and wished me. I wasn't too excited either, because I was aware of the fact that I am just like an abandoned puppet in a world full of puppets. I was trying my best not to be upset over anything that I know is going to happen and will tend to upset me.
I was working on my new song, Infinity. It was supposed to be the second track of my album Divine Love. I thought that is would be a great idea to release it on my birthday. So did I. You might want to listen to it on YouTube, so here is the link: Infinity.
I was a bit disappointed, though. Since it was my first pop song, and I had been learning lessons from my previous songs, I was trying my best to make this song better and not repeat the mistakes I did in the previous songs. Still, due to lack of proper equipment and financial support, there has always been some flaw in my work. Anyways, I was expecting great response over Infinity, which I didn't get. However, I got over it.
At the college, I was surprised by a few students who did wish me my birthday. I didn't expect anybody to remember anyway, so a few felt better than nothing. Even more surprisingly, a few of them even gifted me things, like chocolates, biscuits, and a beautiful ball-point pen, with a crystal on the top.
A few people, from whom I always expect a lot but never get anything, I was trying to avoid, so that I don't get disappointed on being completely ignored by them.
Then, on my way back in the van, as always, everything was shouty. A lot of troublesome quarrelling and cursing, as these 'educated' people always tend to do, went on, agitating me even more. However, one friend in the van was really sweet to me and gave me a gift the next day, to whom, I was very thankful for not letting my day become a complete waste.
In the evening, a been-long friend of mine phoned to wish me a happy birthday. I became happy. Then, they told me that they won't be able to talk me anymore, because they are too engaged in studies to do so. I became unhappy. It was a neutral event. I became sad because I really longed to spend some time talking them.
2 days ago, I was embarrased by my teacher. I asked a question. I hadn't even completed asking when he completely avoided me and started dictating to the class. I tried to continue my question, but he still ignored me as if I was not even there! That really hurt me. I felt heavily humiliated. Consider this: You approach a group of people and say something. None of them responds and they continue talking to each-other. You think probably they couldn't hear you. You repeat your statement, but they avoid you and don't even look at you. You feel like you are not even there. You get to attention. What will you do? You will want to flee. How will you feel? Exactly like I did when my teacher did it to me.
It was unfair, because I didn't do anything wrong. In an ideal educational society, a teacher is supposed to acknowledge their students irrespective of their varying thought-processes and recognize their efforts to communicate their difficulties and get their doubts cleared. However, most teachers now-a-days aren't like that. Things aren't ideal, and we have to deal with them our own way. Since then, I try not to ask questions in the class and try to find out answers to them myself. It is better to be quiet than invite embarrassment and humiliation towards oneself.
Yesterday evening, I met a friend of mine, who fed me spring-rolls and watched me play a kazoo. It was fun. Today morning, another friend fed me jalebis. Today afternoon, yet another friend fed me chhole-bhature. I almost feel like a baby who needs to be spoon-fed. Haha!
Yesterday, I had a lot of work to do. I was quite busy with a variety of things to do, and getting exhausted as well. Suddenly, I received a message from the same friend who had phoned me on my birthday. I was surprised. Since it was a message by them after a really long time, I couldn't disappoint them by telling that I was busy. I couldn't converse either, because my hands were busy carrying heavy load. So, I just managed to type few messages to talk while hurrying with my work on the the other hand so that I could sit down peacefully to talk. Weirdly, they mistook it as my lack of interest in conversation and left. I was shocked. I planned to confront them the next day and tell them that they are thinking the wrong way.
Today was a comedy day. I was heavily embarrassed when someone mistook my actions for misbehaviour and shouted over me in public in a threatening manner. I felt heavily humiliated, because I didn't do anything wrong and was falsely accused and shouted over. I am always unlucky. I am getting the hang of misfortunes and such events don't make sadder anymore. I am always unlucky.
Anyway, my friend is back with me now and I love them very much. Also, I have bought some material for making bracelets. I want to gift them to some close and dear ones. Also, I am trying to manage my studies better. Let us see if I am successful with it.
That's all for now! I hope to come back soon with another post.
Goodbye!
